When I finally have ex-ah out of my life I am now replacing him and his crap with someone else and their crap. I am trying really hard to make note of what I am doing to keep myself at a distance, yeah he needs help but I am not the one that can help him. My point to this is that even when I as a co-dependent finally move on without my addict that still am drawn to putting my focus and energies on someone else then to look at myself it doesn't matter who it is just as long as I don't have to focus on me it could be the kids, my job, the dogs anyone and anything as long as I didn't have to deal with me. Addicts & alcoholics use drugs and drinks, that is their addiction so that they don't have to deal with themselves. I as a co-dependent use the addicts or alcoholics so I don't have to deal with myself.
The question now is how do I find myself I have been buried for many years. I don't know what my likes or dislikes are I have for the past 20 years or so gone and done whatever my addict wanted to do, how sad is that? I don't even know myself. I have to say that I am curious about me just who am I? What do I like to do? What clothes do I want to wear? How will I react? I don't know right now but I am just at the start of this journey to find myself!