I'm so glad you are back! I found that fixing me had to be the true focus for me...I had to live and breath it for awhile so my patterns of thinking would change and at times of stress I wouldn't instinctively go back to my old behaviors. Working steps and really being religious about meetings (sharing there helped me not to be detached from the process) helped me to put fixing me on that front burner. I remember reading somewhere that to teach a dog something, the action needed ot be repeated 50 times to become a skill. I suspect this old dog (me, not you...you are just a young pup!) needs more like a hundred times, lol.
Congratulations on making that commitment to you! You are well worth it and the benefits, I promise, are amazing! Hugs