I have been here before...
I can't for the life of me remember the user name that I had and this is a new forum so it has been a long time....
My ex-husband is an addict,my family is full of addicts, alcoholics and of course co-dependents. I am a codie that is for sure. I was with ex-hubby for 9 years and it was hell most of the time. He was in and out of rehab, jail and my life. The funny thing is that I had to go through all of that just to come the conclusion that I am the problem. I now know that I am a codie to the core, I just finished reading Patterns & Characteristics of Co-Dependant...wow this is me all the way every last thing....I had never thought that I was the problem nope ex-hubby had the problem, my father had the problem....I was just the poor thing that had to deal with and clean up the messes that they created...well I have learned that I am the problem it is my denial, my low self-esteem, my patterns...that is the real problem for me! I am not saying that the addicts & alcoholic in my life are not at fault yeah they sure are for their own actions....but I was not made to do anything I made the choice to try and fix their issues..non of my business.
Yeah it has taken me to the ripe ol' age of 37 to figure this out but better late then never...right? I have recently given up on my ex and what do I do well I go find another guy that is an addict...ok this woke me up to the fact they I find them I make them dependent on me and then demand that they change to suit me?! WTH was I thinking? I don't know.
So I am here begging for advice on how to do this? I go ala-non & naranon but I need some input here from those of you that have been there.