Ahhhh Jeri...
Dont do this to yourself hon. The beautiful part is that you loved, your love was real and your side of the street is clean, focus on that and not on his deception.... It is the progression of his disease sweetie.
I have to agree... no matter what place he is at now, I have a hard time believing that there was not something important there at that time. Why dont you take a day or two and finish morning this man .... and then wipe your eyes and be thankful you are spared today of having him in your life.