How long did it take you to do the 30 meetings ? Right around 30 days, I would hope.
Maybe you're not ready. There was a time I wanted to quit, and couldn't. That lasted about 2-3 years and was absolute hell on earth. I was ready to do anything at the end of that.
As far as the God thing. Just let it go for now IF you can admit that you can't do this by yourself.