(((((liesagain)))))
I hear ya. I used to check up on my H... it got to where I finally realized that if I felt I had to check up on him that it was me having a slip; a codie slip...this is what we do as we go thru our process...
He is MIA that is what they do.
I found that if I felt compeled to check on him that I was not paying attention....I was trying to still make my dream come true with someone who had no intention of living the dream I had for myself and him...slowly slowly I have accepted that I can't have a relationship with someone that does not consider my feelings or want the same things I want....it is hard. Checking up on him became such a hurtful thing for me...I already knew he was off doing dope or something else he did not want me involved in or to know about. I began to understand the phrase "hands off the addict"...
I am sorry for your pain please be gentle with yourself.