Hi Booklover,
we haven't met, I've been off the boards for a while, but I missed it here terribly
I totally hear what you're saying - I felt the same way! I think BigSis explains it pretty well. I went to Nar-Anon & Al-Anon and I got the same impression from the older women who had stayed. I recognize now though, that if they had told me to leave, I wouldn't have listened. I left when I realized I had to.
I think the important thing is to continue to educate oneself on addiction in as many ways as possible (watching INTERVENTION on A&E taught me a lot, as did reading the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous)
When my AH checked into his first rehab (many yrs unto his addiction) I promised myself that if things were the same or worse in 2 yrs, I would leave. AND I DID! It was the best decision I ever made...but I had to reach it myself.