Thank you all. Some of your points really made me think. And yes, Alanon doesn't advocate at all one way or the other but I think when I am reading the material, it makes me consider staying in the marriage, though I should add he doesn't live in my house currently. And yes, I also had the experience in Alanon where I see a lot of womyn, often older, who have stayed and it scared me. I don't want to be 60 and still dealing with crazy addict behavior or active addiction considering I got started in the marriage at 20. I guess it has been my own experience and perception with the alanon meetings I have attended. I think a lot of the womyn that I have gotten to know are all still in their marriages and often I find their sharing and comments are pro-sticking with it.
I find that I sometimes leave Alanon feeling amazingly great and a few times, full of guilt that I am in the process of officially divorcing my husband...like I'm one of those that gave up, didn't support, etc. And that right when he finally turned his life around, I walked away. You know, like in the movies, the wife that sticks around is glorified like June Carter Cash. So those are my random thoughts about it all. Thanks everyone.