Hi Cyberwolf,
I'm sorry that you too have to suffer the agony of loving an alcoholic. No great wisdom from my quarter, just a cyberhug and my best wishes. I grew up in a very similar situation, both parents, and worried the same things: Will they drink themselves to death? Will I end up the same?
I thought it was just fate, karma, something that was out of my control.
It's not.
Now that you have a great role model for what you DON'T want to be like, it will be easier ---IF YOU CHOOSE TO--- to change the course of your life to deal with things differently. It will take a little work to identify the thinking & behaviour patterns that your mum's sh*t has saddled you with, but you are strong enough to figure them out and find another path for yourself.
This is a great place for you to come --- everybody here understands and would be delighted to offer a shoulder, advice, wisdom, ideas, new thoughts, whatever you need in order to move forward. You can't control your mum's alcoholism, but you can control how much of it you allow to leak into your own life.
Love,
GiveLove