He uses because its nice out, its raining, its cold, he had a fight with his mom. He uses because he is an addict. I loved one just like many here, he was a beautiful man until he relapsed after almost 5 clean years. Let me tell you about these wonderful men. They will steal, lie, cheat, whatever it takes to get what they want, and guess what???it isn't us that they want, its the drugs. I wish you well, we all understand your grief, it gets better as you get stronger and decide what is and is not acceptable in your life. Don't think I'm so tough, I didn't know what was going on around here, I just knew something wasn't right. It was drugs. lots and lots. Marian