what he says to them............ is....how hes acting.
Hes not acting like a loving dad whos concerned for his kids.....and if you'll forgive me for saying.....hes acting like a spoiled little brat who just wants his way.....so would you give into your children and reward them for bad behavior? No probably not ............so if you can't do it for you and you cant do it for the kids maybe you can look at it like this.............
since hes acting like a child.....do what you'd do if it were one of them.....hold your ground stand strong and KNOW that your doing it for his own good......spoiled children who always get what they want dont learn lessons they need............