quite frankly and not to offend you.....but right now that doesnt seem best for them
yes they may cry and they may be upset.....but how upset do you think they will be if he says or does hurtful things infront of them?
And he just doesnt seem to care how he hurts them right now he only cares about hurting you.or so it seems from your posts
my opinion is that you try to explain the best you can that right now this is how it has to be and you comfort them......but dont push for them to see him when he isnt acting stable!