deb~
i'm sorry you are hurting right now but to answer your question. No, he will not be the same man you fell in love with. but you are not the same person who fell in love with him wither. as you work your own recovery you will see the changes in yourself, you will change for the better.
as long as your AH(?) is actively using he is not the man you love I know with my RA (recovering addict) everytime he was actively using he lost alittle piece of himself. he has been clean and sober since Oct. he is a totally different man. I am a different woman too. i'm working my recovery going to meeting and working with a sponsor and working the steps. it is alot of work but it is worth it.
to answer your last question he is going to have to want to get help and he is going to have to be willing to work hard at his recovery. there are no quick fixes when it comes to recovery.
in recovery you will learn about many tools that you can use. learning to love with detachment has saved my life and my sanity many time over. reading and learning about addiction and recovery have helped me get a stronger recovery for myself.
my best