It may help you to sit down when you have some 'quiet' time and write up a list of the pros and cons of denying your wants or meeting your wants.
Not all wants can be met. I want thin thighs and a pony. The pony has a greater likelihood of happening, but it's still a longshot. Meeting your NEEDS must come first. You may find that you have a NEED to meet your own WANTS (which is what I'm hearing as I read this).
For me, I started each "I want..." debate with myself from a practical standpoint.
1. Do I *want* or NEED it?
2. If I need it, is it possible for me to attain it?
3. If I can attain it, then why am I denying it to myself? Is it the old tapes playing in my head or is there a practical reason for denying it to myself?
4. If I only want it, will fulfilling the want bring me long-term satisfaction, or do I only want it because I think I can't have it? (this is my personal demon)
5. If I get what I want, will it satisfy the need to fulfill my want, or will it be very temporary and I will still need more to satisfy the want (shop-aholics come to mind here, the shiny new thing seems to satisfy the want-need, but it is very temporary)
6. If I get what I want and it doesn't satisfy the need, then what is my actual NEED, as what I thought I wanted isn't really my need.
7. What are the negative ramifications of satisfying the want/need? Will I drive myself deeply in debt? Will people think less of me? Will *I* think less of me? Will I feel guilty? (initially you will probably always feel guilty about satisfying your own needs, this initial stage you just have to sit through and feel uncomfortable with. Allow the discomfort and recognize it for what it is - a reaction to a situation which no longer exists and no longer has any bearing on your life)
I've discovered that I have very few wants anymore, but the ones I do have are big. I want to leave my job (long story about why I can't just give notice and go). I want (need actually) to go on vacation (just got back from DisneyLand). I want to have more time to spend with my husband. The rest of my wants are driven more by the "quick fix" of getting something new. These 'quick fix' wants I accept for what they are - a symptom that I am currently not happy with where I am in life and am looking to change my life so that I can be happy - not because I actually WANT the item/thing.
Early morning pre-coffee ramblings.