Hello and welcome! I'm new here and have been doing the "dance" with not drinking and then drinking, being "sucessful" and then droping the ball. It just became to exaughtsting and I realized/or am realizing that I simply cannot predict when drinking will go well or end up leaving me in bed for the next 24 hours hung over. I went to my first AA meeting tonight and it was reassuring to feel a community of people who have dealt with similar issues. I got a free "beginner's kit" with some good literature...
Good luck, nice to hear from you!