Well, I've been doing the wedding thing for the past two days. My sister got married this afternoon and AH and I were both in the wedding. I'm so glad it's over but I'm on an emotional rollercoaster because of it.
It went fine except I was in a funk of sorts toward AH at first but the longer the day went the more used to him I got again. It felt good and familiar and easy.
Afterwards though, I freaked out a little bit and knew I had to get away before I got sucked back in. Except now I've been crying and crying ever since.
I don't know if it's the wedding and all that love, having to put on a happy face for everyone, seeing him and liking it or what?!?!?!?
I gave in and just now tried to call him and NO ANSWER! In my world that is code for "I'm drinking." Which should be all the answer I need, I know!
It was so hard being with him today and our extended family doesn't know the situation and they were trying to get us to commit to fourth of July plans and he was pushing for it and it was soooo hard. I kept having to remind myself what the reality of the situation is.
I'm happy for my sister but I really didn't need a wedding right now.
Everyday seems to get harder and harder!