aloneinside

HI to all!! I am just needed to vent and remind myself that I am OK. Had a flood of emotion tonigt with a flash back of how I felt while married to XAH (divorce was final on the 6th!!!!) I bagan to once again feel like everything was my faulkt (in a sense) and that feeling when he was so angry, and how he could break me down with works and emotions. I so hated that feeling and really not sure how to handle this right now. I let go and he has not gotten to me (emotional) in a while. It was not even him that caused these feelings, some silly TV show.

I guess I am venting and also wondering if anyone else has dealt with this. This emotion of feeling weak or child like when he would yell at me, then not talk to me for 12-36 hours at a time. I remember how he would think I was looking at hima nd he would tell me not to look at him and I would feel as though I was a small child, afraid to move, speak or not speak. This is really hard and I am really holding back tears as I used to so no one knew I was hurting.

Has anyone ever had this, even after you had distanced yourself, and come so far healing yourself??

Thanks for listening I know I do not post often, but i do read and think of everyone here at SR often. I am not sure how I would have made it through the past several years without everyone here.

Alone