MTBChick

So I just got home from a group mountain bike ride.... and all I can say is that I am bordering between screaming with frustration and bawling my eyes out. I feel like I am some sort of social failure.... I go to these rides and I try making conversation with people, you know asking them how they are, what's new in there lives, how works is going, and then asking questions about bike related stuff. I get freaking no where!! I get quick responses and then they quickly race off to talk with someone else in the group. Its the same way after the rides when we are all sitting around in the parking lot relaxing and munching on cookies or chips before heading home. Then various ppl in the group start conversing with eachother and making there social plans for the weekend (typically a bunch go and do stuff together outside of biking). Or I hear them talking about the ride they went on together the day before and that kind of stuff. They talk about all there adventures out right in front of me and I'll ask oh who all went and it turns out to be almost all of the ppl that I have been riding with and have done stuff socially with on occasions went but no one thought to call me. In fact none of the ppl I ride with at the standard group rides call me. I feel so alone and I feel like its me. Ever since the relationship ended with the A in my life I feel like I'm a defect. I don't act sad or down when I'm out on the rides I'm upbeat and happy b/c I truly love mountain biking and it is something that brings me such immense joy its hard to be down when I'm out in nature doing what I love. I just wish I knew what it is I'm doing so I could change. I go away not wanting to go on group rides anymore and to just go and ride solo. I miss the my social network of friends that I had when I lived in Baltimore. I just haven't been able to find the same type of group of ppl who I click with. There has to be something wrong with me.