Thanks everyone. Your words are so encouraging and it's really nice to hear from people who break the illusion of being alone in this--addiction. I'm definately starting recognize "that voice" now I just need to listen to my "good voice" that says "hey, don't listen to that crap."
There is an excitement to waking up NOT hungover(withs self-respect as opposed to shame) and actually accomplishing things...and to stop worrying about the possibility of losing my job as a result of missed work days...yikes.
Thank you guys.