I have a male friend who just marked his 90 days clean in NA this week. We have a long history...we dated for three years back in the late 90s and he has always sworn that he wants to be with me.
During his active addiction, I pretty much ignored him...we spoke by phone sporadically and didn't see each other face-to-face for about four years.
He attempted suicide in mid-March 2007 and I think (hope!) that was his bottom. He was in the hospital for a week and began attending NA meetings, did his 90 in 90, got his old job back (a job for which the company had previously labeled him as "un-hireable) and appears to be doing well.
The catch?
He is having sex with at least three women in the program, one of whom is his ex-girlfriend/using partner who also began attending meetings--to keep her hooks in him, I think--when he started in the program.
He also gets EXTREMELY angry with me when I've confronted him about it. And I can almost guarantee that his sponsor knows nothing about this.
His behavior in doing this reminds me of how just cunning this disease is...he thinks he's working a great program but, IMHO, he's trying to fill that "void" inside himself by substituting physical intimacy for the drugs and alcohol that he's gone without for three months.
Recovering addicts/alcoholics...want to weigh in on this? Is this behavior normal for someone in early recovery? I foresee an eventual relapse if he continues on this path, especially with him hanging out/having sex with his exCH girlfriend.