drainedwife

In his book Realtionship Rescue, this is what Dr. Phil says about addiction in a marriage:

"Deal breakers! drop-dead zero tolerance deal breakers. He recommends confronting your partner in a loving, caring but unambiguously firm fashion in which you require him or her to get immediate and ongoing professional help. Persist until your partner goes-and if or she resists, then that is a deal breaker. You must be prepared to leave your relationship until scuh a time when your partner can objectively verify to you that the problem is under control and that they are in a program of ongoing monitoring and treatment . your partner must understand with absolute clarity that you will not remain in a relationship with them as long as there is substance abuse. There are no exceptions and there is no wiggle room.. be strong in your resolve.
He goes on to say it does not matter that this is a disease. why someone destroys your life doesnt change the fact that its destroyed. the fact that addicion might be a disease does not give you back your life. the fact that it is a disease does not lesson the need for intervention and, in fact, may call for even greater urgency. Every disease, or at least its treatment, involves an element of personal choice. By forcing treatment, you require your partner to excercise that choice. That is a gift.

Love your partner from afar, forgive your partner in your heart, attend your partner's treatment sessions-but dont live with them. You deserve better. When you demand it, you will get it, and not a second before.

If children are involved, then underline everything i have just said. if you dont have the courage to protect them, then they are at the mercy of the drug abuse. Dont you dare even consider giving in to your trepidatoin of confronting the situation because you are the only thing that stands between those children and a destroyed life."

Well said Dr. Phil!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!