hey sunshine!
this is all in my opinion, but what i think...
1.) i would let him come to you. alcoholics like feeling like they're in control, and he might resent you by coming at him, as if you were "attacking" him, although i know that's not your intention. their brains are often very warped.
2.) if he doesn't come to you, but has stopped drinking on his own, i don't see a need to bring it up, especially in the early stages of his recovery. if he doesn't come to you, continues to drink, and hasn't sought help, the best you can do is tell him you will support his sobriety and encourage him to find a rehab center or where the nearest AA meetings are.
3.) there is no way you can actually help him. all you can do is talk to him, gain his trust, and show him you support the changes he's making. show him that good things will come from his sobriety. show him how much he will lose if he continues to drink.
4.) if he begins drinking again, i wouldn't be surprised... relapses are unfortunately very common, even more common if he is stopping on his own... so don't set your hopes on him not drinking again. we can all tell you here what a let down it is to have to witness over and over. i don't think there's anything you can do. it's all up to him, it's his choice, his body, his life. as much as you love him, there's just absolutely nothing you can do to help him. it's unfortunate and heartbreaking but he has to want it for himself.
just wondering, do they have kids?