I totally relate Laurie-
I would pray to God every night to make my embarassing alcoholic father just "go away". There came a day that he did just that, and he never came back.
I read your story and part of me is thankful that I was spared the last 25 years of embarassment not having him around but on the immediate flip side of that thought, is an aching little kid saying "I'd take it just to see him again".
I am sorry that you had to go through that...it's just not an easy thing.....