Blue, I was at a similar point at one time and truly think I was just numb. I think my brain did this as a survival mechanism, and I am grateful for that. I too wondered what was going on, but in time the emotions resurfaced.
I used the time my daughter was in rehab to really focus on me. I spent time here, reading recovery books (for my recovery, not hers) going to some open NA and AA meetings (because I found such hope there and it helped in my understanding which lead to more compassion) and attending as many Naranon meetings as I could. I decided if my daughter was going to give it her best shot, I should too. That really, really helped me to face what happened after that and to enjoy the precious times I had with my daughter when she came home.
For me, it was the face to face meetings that helped me "defrost" and let my emotions back in. I could cry at a meeting and everyone understood and I never felt I was being judged. My home group is like being wrapped in the biggest comforting hug imaginable.
Hugs and prayers for both of you. I hope you sleep well tonight.