((hoping))
No, you are not the problem. I admire your strength in trying to move forward toward a medical career. I feel a career like that will never let you down, you should be able to find work wherever you go, I know in this area there is always a shortage of nurses.
I am in similar circumstances, but my ah has been gone for 3 years, lives with agf. I'm much older than you and just can't figure out how to make it on my own. I was the Supermom as well. My reward hasn't been monetary, but I have 3 great adult kids and super grandkids. Unfortunately, that doesn't pat the bills.
I do know it is very difficult to find a path if you don't feel good about yourself. I'm going to try to get to the gym, starting next week, hoping if I get stronger physically maybe I will get stronger mentally.
I'll say a prayer for you and your family. If you need a friend, please pm me anytime.