Because my next extreme will be death.
I have never attempted or even came clost to attempting my life before.
I still cant believev I did that.
That is just freakin way insane.
There is no way I can put myself in that position again.
Never!
Plus the last time was nothing but a big long chase and it was far from fun.
I am just so over getting high.
It's too much complication and BS.
I have a great new opportunity coming up in July for this new job. And my ex boss/ friend has really put alot into getting me in this with him.
He was there when I started messing up way back in DEC.
And even though he does not know my addiction..He thinks I have anger issues...which is true.
He has really stood by me and I have never had anyone do that before putside my family.
He must see something in me.
He has been a great friend and is putting his reputaition on the line to offer me this great new start.
I have to succeed.
Plus it is a new start in a new company at ahigher position and pay.
I am blessed to have a friend like him and a family like mine.
I really have no problems.
I am just a spoiled brat thinking I can do what I want and get away with it like I always have.
Well it is not like that anymore.
And I need to cherish every freakin moment I have with my grams.
I think this is my time for real.
I have found new ways to cope with my addiction that I understand.
And I believe it is my time to start again freash and make it.