I don't believe that such choices are beyond the reach of an alcoholic.
I am still on the side of believing in values and character strengths as being important factors that an alcoholic CAN utilize over the power of his obsessions
OK, I'm still not good at the quote thing but Ted, those are your words.
You are absolutely right in what you say. Alcoholics do recover. They do, they can. But what we are trying to tell you is that it is ONLY IF THEY WANT TO.
It takes more than lip service from them too. Mine tells me all the time that he will quit. He does sometimes but not for long. Yet, I know some they do forever, such as my dad.
I gave my A everything, always took care of him, always stood beside him, believed in him, love, love, loved him. So does his family. He can't quit drinking, wanted to sometimes and did for a while as I said, but then he gets sucked back into it. It is a terrible addiction. It is a physical need for him. Something that can be so hard to understand. When my A can't control it and he sees that it is hurting the people that help and love him, sees that it destroys us, makes us angry, makes us cry. He feels even worse and at that point, what does he do, turns back to his trusty friend alcohol. It never gets mad at him, it never cries.
Your brother doesn't want to stop. He said it. Respect it. Deal with it. Wait for him to come to you and say he does. You can help him. I couldn't let my A not have food or warmth. I couldn't. I couldn't not love him. But what I can do now is know that he knows he is loved. Your his brother, he knows you love him. But I know that my helping him really didn't. It really didn't. It just made him angrier when I stopped enabling him and made it even harder for him to take care of himself on his own. It is a terrible long reaching, debilitating and progressive disease. It doesn't care. It doesn't rationalize.
Do what you need to do. I appreciate that you are open to our responses and not defensive. Thank for joining and stay with us. Keep us posted, we care. B