Hi All,
I would like to clarify one point that I didn't make clear: originally when he told me he was going to keep in touch with Laurie, Christine, etc., he also mentioned guys names (that was the "etc" part). I was upset about the women part. Also, he was never a drunk that went out to bars and womanized. He was always home drunk, always talking and hugging, etc. ME, which annoyed me cause he was drunk. When he said he already told the women no exchanging of numbers, it was cause he then understood where I was coming from. See this rehab has a list of all the numbers and they say each person should take the list. When I went up to see him yesterday, I met several of the men who he intends on keeping in contact with. There wives were there and we kind of clicked too. I told him how for the last two years I was very depressed and lonely, that he made me feel like crap when he'd go on his benders and drink and sleep upstairs with no regard for me, I plainly told him everything I'd ever told you guys. And he said to me that he had no clue that he had truly hurt me that much. He knew he hurt me with his drinking, but he had no clue to what extent. I also told him that while I love him I am no longer in love with him and I don't know if that could ever come back (even though I think it could). He promises me he is going to do this and I won't regret staying with him. He wants me to be in love with him again, and will do whatever it takes for that to happen. And he says for the first time in his life, he knows and admits he's an alcoholic and can never have one drink again (cause even after he went to rehab the first time and stayed sober for 14 years, he never once admitted he was an alcoholic). I still will keep my eyes and ears open, and won't let my guard down. You never can when you're married to an A. But I will give him the benefit of the doubt and let him earn my trust back.