I understand what you are feeling, for some reason, couldn't get 45 days clean to save my life, that was the magic number 45. I don't know why, it still confuses me...but I do know, that it is possible to overcome. The disease is truly cunning, baffling and powerful....it will tell you the thing you are thinking in order to get you back...trust me, it WILL be worse and it WILL be more difficult to come back every time...it you are fortunate enough to make it back. 5 Weeks is an awesome start...don't give it up for that first drink, you will regret it.
Be strong, I am here for you.
Cathy