Originally Posted by mallowcup

It must be the worst part of having a stretch of sobriety followed by a binge, seeing what it does to your mother. I think you have to be honest with yourself, really honest. It would be presumptuous of strangers to think they know you better than your mother. I also think you may pierce her heart of you call her an enabler.
With total regard from her perspective, maybe she helps you to the degree she does because she feels responsible for your drinking. When someone calls another an enabler, it is an accusation. This is a title a person needs to come to on their own. They need information that leads them to say, hey! what I'm doing is not helping.
"I'm moving because you are an enabler, implies that you're problem is her doing and if you move away from HER.....
I hate that the ones who endure the most are hurt the most.
I think the question you have to ask yourself is this, by moving, are you really just trying to chop out the part where you have to SEE what your drinking is doing to your mother? She's your mother. It must hurt to the core to see how preoccupied and hurt she is when you drink.
It is probably high time you moved out.
I think if you want to move out, you are not entitled to move back. You can't yank loved ones in and out. There is a reason you live with her now as an adult. How did that happen? Do you have a plan in place other than calling your mother when you need her?
You can break a mothers heart by saying I'm moving because I feel you are an enabler. Then the phone rings and she has to decide if she will respond or not. For her it always boils down to saying no to her own son or being accused of being an enabler. That's not fair. It's mean.
What's a mother to do?
No really, what's a mother to do?
The focus of the issue shouldn't be her enablement. It should be your drinking to excess. I hate the term enabler. People do the best they know how for the people they love. Is there some reason you and our mother couldn't go to counceling together when you move out? Why can't that be a part of your plan?