((((Guinevere))))
I know how hard this can be.
I can only comment on what seemd to happen with me...
I had to really place myself outside of the mother role in many of our conversations when doubt ran high, and I had finally fell into "protect myself" mode.
I had to look at things from the outside...as I would a friend asking, or a family member that couldn't pull at my guilt quite as much as my own son could.
What would I say to them?
Then I had to remind myself often that "I" was just as entitled to happiness as my kids were. I was someone's child too...and my life was important, not just as a mom, but as a person.
And the only way to allow for that happiness was to step back and let him find his own way.
So I laid down what I would accept in MY life, rather than stating what he needed to do in his.
It worked for me...with some weak episodes in between
I wish you well in your counseling
((((Hugs))))
Cece