I read the best way to support an recovering alcoholic is to focus on yourself and not try to be a part of thier process. That it is something they need to do on their own.
Hi Serenityvalley, I am Martin a recovered alcoholic, the best thing you can do for her recovery is just what you were told, first focus on your self.
If she has quit again and ask for advice on something give it, when it comes to her recovery she needs to be totally in charge of it. Notice I said
If she has quit again , if she has then basically let her know you are proud of her, if she wants to talk about it with you then do so, but if she doesn't simply accept that and focus on what you have control over which is you.
If she is drinking again then the best thing to do for her is focus on your self, let her deal with her drinking, you have no control over her, if she ask for a ride to a meeting or possibly her therapist that is cool, but if she wants money or anything else tell her she is going to have to deal with that on her own as long as she is drinking and not working on her recovery.
I am a recovered alcoholic and the only way I got sober was by having to face my disease and all the problems that I created head on with out any one being thier to bail me out. In simple terms I had to have the safety net removed and be allowed to hit my bottom.