he was the absolute best husband and father anyone could have.
I'm no expert QT, but to me, your story is a bit unique.
Speaking for myself, I'm dealing with an A that was active when I met him and it has been a roller coaster our whole relationship. I think by reading on SR thats the case with most here. Sure some have had years of sobriety before/if relapse, but to have the timing thing going on like you have, is rare.
You weren't together the first time
This time you are
Cricumstances are different.
No wonder your reeling. Your investement in this man and the life you have built is MUCH greater than the first time. That and you have GOOD memories of the man you know he can be.
As a codie, I have had to work REALLY hard at setting my "standards". I would think, given your circumstances, your standards have already been set. Again, given the lengthly time you've been together in a "normal" loving realtionship. It's NORMAL for you to want to keep them
That first time you "took a chance" on him. It worked out
Are you afraid it won't this time?
Peace