It is a process getting to acceptance of our loved ones self abuse. When we accept that we did not cause it cannot cure it or control it we begin to feel peaceful about them.
let's say she did not drink something else might bother you or make you crazy about her but you would probably some how get over it because the love you have for her is the most important thing. I would say keep the focus on the love you feel for her when you are relating to her and try not to control her drinking. Look at your own behaviors and control them
When you get the feeling that she is going to drink focus on yourself and take especially good care of yourself at these times.
I know that when I react to my loved ones self abuse it seems to make the bing worse for me and them....