Sorry for your pain....with my father and brother mostly my brother- I felt that too and it broke my heart. Have you tried going to an Al-Alanon meeting? Counseling? They can be great support to you-
The focus needs to be changed onto you and not onto her drinking/relapse-it is hard to get to the point of accepting this and that it is not your problem but theres. Loving them and helping yourself deal with the situation will help to release this struggle inside of you. I loved my father and love my brother also my XAB but they have hurt me a great deal in my life and I will not allow it to happen anymore! Love is not about hurting!
Read the stickies here and keep posting!
(((hugs)))