What's all this obligation malarky?
Did feminism never happen? Did women in the not so recent past not suffer so that we may have the vote, have the right to own property, to work, to be able to be financially independent, to be treated as equals in society? I know to whom I owe my obligation. I not some raging feminazi, but come on!!! We all deserve better than to be beholden to abusers.
For the umpteenth time, it's not always about drink. I beg of all of you to stop excusing the inexcusable with the excuse that he hit/belittled/denegrated/manipulated/conned/failed to participate equally in the partnership/whatever because he's an alcoholic. Stop being their best defender and become your own cheerleader. That's also where my obligation lies.
Who knows what will happen in a year from now? I am not the same person I was when I got into recovery. NONE of my serious ex-b/f's would be interested in who I am today. And I am not interested in them. And that's cool. I am on a better path today than I was then and they are doing their own thing. One is married to his traditionally Japanese wife, who meets his every need with barely a murmour of complaint. The other is trawling the net looking for his next victim. Me? My life ain't perfect, but at least I am working to my own, open agenda. And one day I shall meet someone who is working his own, open agenda that will fit well with mine. Until then, I will thank my lucky stars that I am out of those situations and move onwards and upwards.
Choose life, not a faux-compromise.