Welcome Aboard Roandlan,
I second what eveyone has posted so far. We are all in this boat together, we know your pain, I would not wish that kind of pain on my worst enemy.....We are here to help, the hardest thing I had to do was ASK FOR HELP....I'm glad I did... The second hardest thing was LISTENING, REAL LISTENING .....I'm still working on this but enough is sinking through....Just remember you are so worth it !!!!!! Keep posting .......NED