Originally Posted by
roandlan 
it seems so weak and stupid to ask for help from strangers on the web, but I am going to anyhow. Help.
Weak and stupid and my best thinking had me drinking for 27 years, that's what got me into recovery. This is a "we" program. I tried doing it by myself and found that the only way it works is when I reached out to others for help.
You're scared? I'm a single father with two beautiful children, sobriety has given me the ability to be the parent they deserve to have, but before I was given that gift I gave away my marriage, a home, and countless relationships. The only thing that took away my fears was AA and the faith in a higher power. I understand your fear, if you're really ready you'll be honest with yourself and reach out for the help that's freely available to anyone who desires it.
Glad you're here, and I hope you stick around.