My thought is, even if my A gets sober and could actually become the person I fell in love with (was he even that great back then or did I have rose colored glasses on). Would I really want to take the chance of him falling off the wagon again?
I've tried this before with him, after a year? of sobriety, he was cool, about 11 years ago. He fell off, I went with him, again and again and again. Say he manages 10 years of sobriety and a decent life and falls off again, the older I get, the harder it hurts when I fall, the harder it is to pick myself up. There goes more of my life.
Are you willing to take that risk? I'm not sure I am anymore.
Just a thought. B