Yea..I use to think being high enhanced everything.
Even my DOC, which most people dont do a whole lot on except chase it.
I was a little different.
I could and would still do stuff whike smoking.
Like go wash my truck...Sit by the water..Fix stuff around the house..Hang out with my friends and just relax.
But as soon as it was gone it was back to the grind.
I was never the type to get my drugs and go hole up somewhere and bug out.
But it was only letting me do those things and feeding that beast at the same time.
If it had to be one or the other...I would be on the grind instead of doing things like that as well.
I use to get relief when I got a good amount and would gosit at the intercoastal or just sit in with my friend in the alley and just chill out and relax.
But you know the time will come when all that will be interupted by the need to feed.
Now I really see that it is better to do those same things wothout the hassle of having to keep the beast going.
Because when your on a chase it really does put a wrench in everything.
Plus it gets complicated...chaotic..and dangerous.
I would never be high around the kids. EVER!
They arent stupid you know.
So now I have plenty more time to spend with them. Really see the comedy and the miracles of children just being children.
My babies will be coming over today for the first time since me and my grams got out.
She babysits.
I look forward to that.
Even when they wear on my nerves I still love to be with them.
I would have an 11 year old this year if I did not lose my pregnancy in 96.
And now I cant have kids.
So I cherish them.