Good Job CE girl - What kills me are the "mutual" friends who do that. They tell you all that stuff and it always makes me guarded about what they tell the A about me. I agree with you about telling the truth without malice. I try hard to but sometimes when I slip and get angry but I always correct myself. When I slip and get mad I tell our mutual friends that even though I am angry that they are not to take it as I want them to take my side. All of our friends (even the ones that I introduced him to) are told that I don't want them to not be his friend because of my feelings toward him. I reiterate this over and over. I don't want to be that person that tries to turn others against him. He does have good qualities and I understand that these people don't see all the bad. If they do in time, they can make thier own choice on continuing the friendship.
I have to tell myself a lot that crumbling walls for him can be a God send. That is the driving factor in my distance and coldness to him. I feel guilty sometimes and remind myself that it is best for him too, then I don't feel selfish. What a rollercoast. I hate alcoholism.
Hang in there!!! I'm proud of you!!