Loves I totally understand what your talking about cause I do the same thing all the time cause I'm a people pleaser. I hate it sometimes well most of the time. I find myself saying "yes" to going out to dinner at places I hate just so I dont upset other people. I always go out of my way for others to make sure they are happy. Then no one ever says thank u or thanks for going out of your way. They have come to just expect it from me and boy it just makes me SO unhappy. I wish I could say NO to things I wish I didnt care if people were happy with me I just wish I could be ME and people would like me for who I really am. Unfortunatly thats not how the world operates.
Everyone else is happy and I'm miserable I dont know how to snap out of it. I also notice when someone does one little thing for me they expect to be praised for doing it and when I dont they get upset???? I cant win. I feel sometimes I've lost myself who I am and who I used to be. Its frustrating I really miss me sometimes I know I am in there somewhere. I really miss alot about me. I am slowly learning to say NO to things I dont want to do and I realize if people do get upset its for a short while. I dont know how to let go of everyones happiness depends on me. No matter how hard I try and go out of my way sometimes it isnt enough. I guess to some my best will never be enough and I just have to learn thats ok. Hard to do. When my own personal happiness depends on it I guess its the difference of being miserable on the inside smiling on the outside OR Being happy on the inside and really smiling on the outside. I'm slowly working on it. I will find my inner bitch and learn to say NO and just learn that only I can myself happy cause no one else seems to care. I wish u luck and u know I am always here to talk if u need me.