I am sober 30 days today. I am excited and relieved. The first week of my sobriety I was having thoughts of when I might be able to drink or how much could I drink that hubby wouldn't notice. The 2nd week, I wrestled with boundless energy, still thought about drinking, but not near as often nor was my thinking revolving around planning the next drink. The 3rd week, still alot of energy, but able to sit and relax with no thoughts of when I might be able to drink. Week 4 and no anxiety over drinking. The only time the drinking has even crossed my mind has been to think of the hurt I have caused. Something I never want to forget, to afirm the reason I can never drink again. This last week has seen a lot of changes for me. 2 of my 3 children are now speaking to me. My 20 year old son and I had not spoken in 7 months. My 12 year old daughter had not spoken to me for 5 months. My mother now speaks with me a couple times a week and my husband is seeing a clear headed me. Our arguing has decreased considerably. We have been able to sit and talk things over. I have been able to express myself in a somewhat normal way as oppossed to a drunken rant. We have made plans to do things in the evening and actually been able to follow through with them as I haven't been drunk by the time he got home from work. I feel less panicky when I leave the house. Even able to go to a store alone and look around. Not having to know the layout of a store so I could rush in a grab what I need and get out before having a full blown panic attack has been great. I have even made plans to go visit my mother the end of June, which I haven't done in a year. And even then, there was tension.
I truely didn't believe I would make it this far. I'm glad I found this site as it has helped me a great deal in my recovery. With this site, my family and friends support, my Dr.'s and therapist, I no longer feel alone. I like the changed in my life now. I have so much to look forward to being sober and I see that now. Thank you all for being here to share this day with me.....
Laceyhearts
