"You're not going to work today?"
"It's like you are 2 different people"
"When are you going to another AA meeting?"
"Do you want me to drive you?"
"You need a shower...and change your underwear!"
"You haven't eaten anything since yesterday morning. Don't you want any dinner?"
"Of course I'll be there to pick you up!" (from jail, every Monday morning at 5:00 a.m....I can hear the loose screw rattling around up in my head as I type this)
"Where are you going?"
"Why did you call an escort service?" (believe it or not, his answer was dumber than my question)