Hi, Emimily,
When I am in a total intellectual mode, I am fully an atheist.
When I'm in a spiritual mode, I'm fully a believer.
When I'm what the majority of folks are -- a mix of the two, and fully human -- I'm fully a G*D wrestler.
And there is no contradiction for me. I am neither Mr Spock nor an emotional bag of feeling, but a mixture of the two.
Good question; thanks for asking!
Shalom!