Star,
I Know exactly how you feel. It's been only a couple of weeks since I discovered my BF has an addiction. I think that I am finally coming to terms with the fact that he isn't really ready to do anything about it. The worst part is that we had a really good relationship prior to. When he told me about his addiction, I mistakenly thought he was reaching out to me for help. Now I'm realizing that he was looking for my acceptance, which, of course, I didn't give.
I think it hurts so badly for us because we fell in love with the sober versions of our BFs, and then the addict showed up and stole them away and so all of our hopes, dreams, and expectations were shot down in mid-flight. For me, it was just so abrupt and in so many ways I feel like I'm mourning a death, but at least when you're greiving people understand your grief. No one seems to understand why I'm not angrier with him, but it's because I recognize that he's sick so I try not to get offended by his actions.
Like you, my (X?)ABF hasn't tried to contact me, so in a way, I guess I should be grateful that he has given me the space to move on. But in so many ways I'm feeling rejected, I guess because I don't fully understand the power of addiction. I remember believing that love could conquer anything, but that was before I understood addiction. Someone here told me that the addiction will always protect itself-- I'm learning that firsthand and it is the hardest lesson ever!
I wish that I had some advice for you, but it sounds like you're doing really well. I can only pray that I make it to 5 weeks and sound as strong as you. I think it's normal to wonder about him from time to time, I'm sure that he'll always have a special place in your heart. I think the danger comes when you become so obsessed with him that you lose sight of you-- you don't seem to be there. Be patient with yourself.
(((((Hugs)))))