Originally Posted by
Rella927 
...but still having A LOT of trouble with not so much that he is with someone else but, that he does not care enough YET or MAYBE NEVER about his sobriety and did not love me but rather the bottle more to just move on to keep his addiction going.
...I’m sad because his disease creates his skewed thinking and threw that blame on me.
(When all I wanted was for him to get better so my choice was to get myself better and his choice was the bottle)
boy, rella, can i relate! there are so many times i cry, and when i think about what i'm crying about... yeah, it's the loss of a relationship and a person i loved so much and thought so highly of... but i also feel so horrible for her because of the life she's chosen. it's hard for me to fathom not loving yourself enough to not want to get help, and it makes me cry to think that is where my ex is. someone who could be so lively, smart, beautiful, and really make an impact on the world can't see what needs to be done to get there.
and oh goodness, when she drinks, i'm blamed for absolutely everything. she could even bring up things from years ago and somehow twist it like it was something so significant ... like the time when i did this or that, and wow how it's effected her. i was never blamed for drinking, just blamed for things that normally wouldn't have mattered but were magnified with some beer in her.
awesome post, rella. i like what big sis said about the difference between a good day and a bad day, i'm really going to keep that in mind when i'm having a hard time!