thanks concerned, i needed to hear that. maybe i am beating myself up, sometimes i feel like just crawling into a hole or something. i think because he knows that i felt like what you said, he just kept playing on that. i have noone to blame but myself. seems like i should have known better, after all this is my second marriage, and it didn't take me this long to figure that one out, and to think i love him more in a different way, but i would have called that more in love that this. i don't know why i kept hangin on so long. maybe i convinced myself that ah didn't know any better and i thought that i didn't want to hurt him, not realizing that i was putting him before me and what was best for me.
i watched my first husband dwindle down to a shell after our divorce and i knew that he never really got over our break, he carried that to his grave and i blamed myself, even though we divorce because of his infidelities. i promised myself that i wouldn't do that to this husband and look where that promise has led me. i guess i may be feeling a little sorry for myself too here. hope i can snap out of this feeling soon. i feel stuck and i don't know what to do about it. i feel so unappreciated. oh well