I believe most of u know I am here cuz of my As but I came out the other side with an addicted spouse also. That was very many yrs ago but as Lives said once you rebuild your life u will wonder why you felt u deserved so much less for so long. I am now remarried for almost 23 yrs plus I spentr 10 yrs alone after I ended it with AS ( sounds weird to even say that ) He was a complulsive gambler but it was just as bad as any other addiction. I found out only last wk he went from gambling to drugs & now at age 62 says he has been clean for 41/2 yrs ( 3 of them in jail )
I loved this man with my whole heart & felt I could never care for anyone else as much but boy was I wrong. I love my present husband more each passing day & we have been a couple for almost 25 yrs. I told my ex you can only love for so long without getting anything back. It took me 10 yrs & 2 children. Looking bk I feel physical distance plus seeing someone else is what it took me. He got into trouble with the law & ran. He did keep in contact & wanted m to join him. During this time I found out he was seeing a topless dancer so then I let my sister fix me up with a blind date. Both of these men claimed to love me & finally I could see the difference btw my ex's " love " and a person with a clear heads love. It was finally for me a no brainer. I believe to be true what somone here said " the problem isn't the addiction cuz the addiction is a symptom of a sickness of the soul " My ex said it took his HP to bring him to the point where he said he had enough.
Believe it Teke, & if u have trouble believing it now we all will believe it for you.
Love,
Diane