Hi There,
I don't really have any advice for you except you cant change what has happened so don't give yourself too much of a hard time. You can't go back and not use what already has been used (does that make sense) all you can do is decide what you will do with tomorrow, in fact not even tomorrow, what you will do the next moment of your life, as who knows what tomorrow will bring.
I don't know if I would have post/thread deleted keep it as a reminder of how you felt? And the support and concern people have for you.
Take care of yourself
hugs